Thursday, January 6, 2011

Something's Changed

As you may have noticed, I've changed the title of my blog.

I started out as "Shiloh's Mommy" (I'm not very creative). I then decided a change to the name "All About Shiloh" (see, not creative at all) made more sense because, well, my blog was ALL about Shiloh. However, lately I've been having some "me" issues. Normal stuff. I think. Basically, just feeling like I've lost me. It seems that the last three years of devoting what feels like every waking moment of my life to Shiloh, as a stay at home mom, is starting to have an effect on me.

I want to make sure to note that I'm not complaining about being a SAHM. This was my choice, and I wouldn't change it.

Although, I guess I can't blame it all on my mom title. If I were to be honest, I kind of lost myself when I moved down to Georgia. I left all of my friends and family, and found myself clinging to Richard and his friends. This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but seven and a half years later I still have yet to make one friend without the assistance of Richard. I did become good friends with a coworker from the job I left when Shiloh was born, but we lost touch when I left. My closest friend down here is the wife of a coworker of Richard. All of my other good friends? They're all the girlfriends/wives of Richard's friends. While I love these friends and wouldn't change them for anything, the fact that I met them ALL through Richard is kind of bothering me. This isn't even the problem though. I just need to focus on me more. Have more girl's nights out, read more books, focus on what I want/who I want to be. As a side note, I want to point out that Richard has in no way held me back from doing any of these things. This is all on me. These are all changes I need to make.

Anyway. Back to the blog title. Because of how I've been feeling lately, I want to change things up. Something more general. My previous blog titles have given me such a sense of being pigeonholed that unless I have a Shiloh story to share I don't blog. I'm having a hard time coming up with a new name though, so "In Between Names" it is! (Note the creativity again)

One change I've already decided I'd like to make is joining a small group through our church. This is something I've mentioned to Richard before, but it seems to fall on deaf ears due to the fact that he grew up going to church just about every day. I think I'm going to start the conversation again, but this time not give up so easily.


Greta said...

Hmm, this is definitely a struggle for SAHMs, I think.
Good for you for deciding to do something about it though!

Let me encourage you about joining a small group - or lt me encourage Richard. We are a part of one that started out being comprised of a few couples that we weren't necessarily close to but have really grown to love. I treaure our time with them and appreciate what all of them bring to our discussions. If nothing else, one of them has kids just about the same age as us and we are great sounding boards for each other. It's awesome to hear that at least one other mom is dealing with the same exact stuff you are.

Do it Richard! ;)

KatieLizziSmith said...

Just wanted to say I completely understand. It's hard. :c/