Wednesday, July 22, 2009

My Pity Party...Feel Free To Not Read

I don't remember ever having jealousy issues during the entire duration of my sister's pregnancy. I vividly remember being in the car with Rich on our way home from Agua Linda in Athens when I got the phone call from her. I can honestly say that my initial reaction was pure happiness for her. I will admit that later that evening I spoke with my friend Laura about it and during that conversation maybe a tiny bit of jealousy came out, but that was it. What I thought would have been the hardest pregnancy on me was actually the easiest, which brings me to why I'm writing this. I was just on facebook wasting time when I came upon a picture that quite a few of my friends had commented on, so I enlarged it. The picture was of a girl (I don't know her) who is obviously pregnant. As I'm sitting there looking at this girl's stomach I'm completely taken over by the fact that I will never experience that. They'll never be a picture of me with my belly sticking out, a life growing inside of it. Anyway. When I started breathing again I was amazed/confused by what this picture did to me. For the last year I have truly believed that I was over (for lack of a better word) not becoming pregnant, but then again do you just get over something like that. Apparently, I thought you could and I guess that's why this punch to the gut caught me so off guard.

3 comments:

KatieLizziSmith said...

**hugs**

Greta said...

I'm hesistant to comment here since I may be exactly the type of person you don't want to hear from.

However, (I'm obviously going to anyway), I want you to know that I, for one, think that is a COMPLETELY natural feeling and reaction. Jealousy is such an EASY feeling to have. Know what I mean?

Alicia said...

Thanks, Katie.

Greta, you are always more than welcome to comment on any post regardless the topic. I appreciate it and understand what you were saying.