Friday, March 11, 2011

I Need Some Opinions

I'm hoping some of my readers will come out of hiding to help me out with a little dilemma I'm having. This may seem silly to some, but I really don't know what to do.

Here it is....

We have a couple of friends, Rachael and Szymon, who will be getting married later this year. When describing our relationship, I use the word friends loosely. I'm sure Richard feels different, but Szymon is more his friend. Basically, one of Richard's closest friends from his Marine Corps days, Haven, is life long friends with Szymon. We only see Szymon and Rachael when we're hanging out with Haven at his house and they happen to be there also, so basically MAYBE twice a year.

Here comes the dilemma...

Their wedding is on Shiloh's birthday. Some of you might be thinking, "where's the dilemma?", but birthdays are SO important to me. And it doesn't get more important than Shiloh's birthday. And, my goodness, it's only her 4th one. How can we already miss one? Also, it's on a Saturday! Again this might sound silly, but I was so looking forward to having her party on her actual birthday.

Richard is all for going. I've thought about sending him to the wedding without me, but I think that might cause me to have some resentful feelings towards him. I want her birthday to be more important than their wedding, but I understand where he's coming from. I think most of this goes back to how birthdays were celebrated in our households growing up.

So what do you all think? Am I being silly? Would you go to the wedding, stay home...??

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

They only get married once hopefully Shloh is going to have alot more birthdays. It doesn't make any difference what day her party is She really doesn't know or care Mom

Patty & Kevin said...

I can see where you're coming from, but I've never, personally, felt strongly about celebrating ON the day. My SIL feels completely differently about this which has caused a few frustrations in the past when I worked every other weekend and wasn't able to attend my nephews birthdays since it was the weekend closest to the actual birthday. The actual celebration is what is important. Having a winter birthday, and a holiday at that, there were several years that we had my birthday in the summer so I could have a pool party instead. If it's really important to you, you guys definitely need to discuss it, but it seems like the wedding is also very important to Richard, and it is just the one day... You can still make the day special for her, and she might like having more than just one extra-special day! :o)

Greta said...

I'm assuming you can't do both...

I am also the parent who likes to make a huge deal about birthdays AND likes to have the party on the actual day. So far, that has only happened once and it was Sam's 1st. All the other parties were great too! (In fact, this year we had his a couple weeks early since I thought Bo might come so close to Sam's b-day).

All that to say, I think I would do one real special thing with just you, Richard & Shiloh on her actually birthday, then have the party a week later (or have the party before).

Hope you guys can agree on something you're both happy with!

Kimberly said...

If it were me I would obviously do my child's birthday party but that is something that is important to us.

While yes they may only get married once and my child would have many more birthdays.. IMO, My family comes first and especially since you aren't great friends with the couple considering you only see them a couple of times a year.

I'd simply tell them the truth. Shiloh's birthday falls on the same day and so you cannot make it due to having other arrangements which are centered around your child. Most people aren't going to question it especially if they have kids of their own and if not, they will understand eventually I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Well, if the "Anonymous" is you mom telling what she thinks (that Mom at the end is where I'm assuming that) it makes sense to me as I feel exactly the same way and that's what was going through my mind as I read your entry.
In our family we rarely celebrated holidays on the holiday and I've always said, it's the getting together that matters, not the date on the calendar. If it's not pointed out to her Shiloh will never know which day is her birthday and if you point her attention to the day you decide to celebrate it she will be a happy girl. Make life easy, don't overthink things. Be thankful that in your life this is a dilema, it's very small compared to so many other of life's problems and troubles. Love you, Aunt Nina

KatieLizziSmith said...

You've probably already made your decision, but I'm just seeing this now....so if my opinion counts anymore, I say stay home with Shiloh.